M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
