You're completely useless in the revolution.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
