Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
