You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
