what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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