Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
