I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
