worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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