dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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