Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
