Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
