Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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