Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
