I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
