Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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