ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
