She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
