These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
