Your dad touched me again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The air taste purple.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize