You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
