yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize