I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So squirting runs in the family.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
