The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
