the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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