I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
