i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
