Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
