I'm gonna have a badass scar
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's rum buckets o'clock
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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