matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
