got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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