Your dad touched me again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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