Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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