I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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