i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
