I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have tasted many bathrooms
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
