I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
