btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
