We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
