I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
