Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We left an ass print on the piano.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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