My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
