Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
