"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Less talking, more tequila
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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