I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
