Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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