that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
