JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
