I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
