You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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