Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
