woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
