remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
